Wait, what? Controversy is Okay?

So, I've been doing some passive programming on the floor this week, and someone is NOT happy about it. Some of my posters have been turned over, moved, or taken down, and today someone actually posted a sign right next to one of mine proclaiming "Stop passive aggressive posters!"

I think I'll leave it there.

See, at first I was kind of upset. I spent a lot of time and thought on this program and how to get certain points across, and it made me sad that someone didn't appreciate the work I did or that they were misinterpreting my intentions.

But THEN I realized that if someone is bothered enough to say something about passive-aggressive posters in an ironic passive-aggressive poster- MY PROGRAM IS WORKING. They're THINKING about what I'm asking them to think about.

I did write a small note on the bottom of their poster asking them to come talk to me if they have a problem, and added a similar note in one of my email updates to the floor...but for the most part, I think I'm probably going to let this mystery person post their responses, if there are more to come. I think part of my job is to make people consider those uncomfortable topics, to stir up a little heated debate and controversy. I'm an educator, and that's part of being educated.

And also, it's not my job to make everyone agree with me/like/be my friend. I mean, there's 60 of them. It's just statistically impossible for all of them to like me. 
However, it IS my job to challenge them, to teach them, to give them resources and a safe, healthy environment to live in.

And, hey, if educating and challenging them means ruffling a few feathers, I'm okay with that. The important thing is that the signs are doing what I wanted them to do: they're making my girls THINK. And I can't be too mad about that.

(:

le sigh

Sometimes I have to wonder why I even bother.

You Are Not Alone in This

My heart is breaking.
Please, listen to me very, very carefully. Lock these words away in your secret heart, and never, never forget them:

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are talented, and smart, and special.
You are also kind, and sweet. You are courageous and bold.
You are impassioned, and you are important.
You are strong.
You matter. You have impacted the lives around you in ways you will never comprehend,
and you have a very special light- one that is yours, and yours alone.
If you do not spread this light, then no one will, and the world will be the worse for it.

You. Are. Beautiful.
You. Are. Loved.
You. Are. Strong.

And the world is a blessed place because you are here and you are in it.

where have all these days gone??

I have now been residing in Bloomington for one month. Classes are well underway and I've rapidly been reminded that professors are rarely lackadaisical in assigning homework. My workload has been substantially proliferated as of late, and unfortunately I feel I'm falling behind. This weekend I was finally able to get ahead on most of my schoolwork, but I fear I'm losing any resemblance of a lead I may have had in my job. My first program took place last week (Red Mango & Tangled), and while I feel confident in asserting it as a considerable success (with upwards of 80 residents attending), I feel acutely inadequate and uncertain in many other areas. I have a bulletin board due in three days, for which I have yet to select a topic (either campus safety or volunteer opportunities), I've had multiple girls suggest program ideas (which I have written down but have not had time to review extensively), and my Leadership Council has not had its first meeting (although we are tentatively meeting this week), and of course there's still so much I'm unsure of behind the desk and on rounds.
However, I remain hopeful and (mostly) optimistic! This morning while I was walking to class, I heard these lyrics on my iPod:  

I called, You answered, and You came to my rescue.

Well, of course, silly girl. How do I forget so easily the Creator of the universe is holding my hand, that all I need to do is call to Him and He is there? I'm afraid I tend to let other distractions take the place of the One who ought matter most, every day, in every way. I need to discipline myself better, in order to better trust Him and better be a light to those around me. I have been placed in this job for a purpose, and I am convicted that this purpose will serve the Kingdom of God. My life has been profoundly blessed, and when I take the time to remember that (like right now), I feel silly for ever complaining in the first place. I think I need to scold myself more often. 

And here is a cute picture of my new roommate, Holden.  He's quiet, and adorable, but he isn't much help with the housework.

please, please, please

don't leave me all alone.

Three Spins

In the Marching Hundred, we do cool things like chair step.
When marching chair step, we do cool things like three spins.
Three spins turn you 270 degrees to face right from your starting position, but you turn to the left (because turning to the right is not something we do in Hundred. Always turn to the left).
Three spins are tricky. They require a balanced center of gravity, and when you first start learning them, they make you dizzy. They can be confusing at first, too, but then you get used to it and you look fantastic.

In Read Center, we do cool things like Welcome Week.
When it's Welcome Week, it is also band camp.
Being an RA and being in Hundred is best defined as "insanity." Hopefully the good kind of insanity, though. The three-spin kind.
My whole life is like a rookie's three spin right now. I'm a little dizzy and confused, and I'm not really sure what I'm doing. It's going to take a lot of practice and careful balance, but I'll get the hang of it sooner or later.
Lame analogy? Maybe, but it's what I've got. I'm tired.

Champions of the Universe!

So, Read staff are Champions of the Universe. Not merely Champions of Bloomington, or Indiana, or all of planet Earth, or the Milky Way. We are champions of the entire, infinite UNIVERSE, and we have the plaque to prove it. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Our week of formal training has concluded, and I'm surprised how quickly it went by. Although each day seemed to entail several millennia in and of themselves, it's difficult to realize training is over, and Welcome Week is beginning. I feel like I've been here in Read forever, but I also feel like I've only been here for a week and a half (which I have). I am simultaneously ecstatic for and dreading this week. Marching Hundred band camp starts for vets tonight, and while I am so ready to get some Hundred back in my life, it's going to be extremely difficult for me to balance band camp with my job here at Read. I'm expected to be at both places all day, so I'll be doing a lot of bouncing back and forth. Thankfully, the Residence Manager and GSs here are extremely kind and cooperative, and are willing to let me do the necessary bouncing. They have been so understanding and wonderful to me throughout training and with helping me manage my schedule as best I can. My fellow RAs have been equally amazing. Just today, two of them offered to help shepherd my floor to events if I ever feel too overwhelmed to handle it alone.

I am also handling a personal concern over Hundred, one which I'm nervous enough about to have felt nauseated all day, but I have a beautiful support system, and as my mother kindly reminded me, if God leads me to it, He will also lead me through it. As I tend to say, it will all work out.

So, bearing in mind I have the power that created the universe backing me up, bring it on, Welcome Week 2011.